


Apart, Together

by NeverAndAlways



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Childbirth, Gen, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mpreg, Mpreg!Poe Dameron, Not Beta Read, Poe Dameron-centric, Poe Dameron/Finn Fluff, Reunions, Rey/Finn friendship, Swearing, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-14 16:32:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5750284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverAndAlways/pseuds/NeverAndAlways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Finn and Poe don't see each other for months.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just realized, this is my 50th fic. Holy crap. Have I really spent that much time on this site? .___.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing these characters, so I apologize for any OOC-ness that might happen.

Poe Dameron slides into a seat at the Comm station. Actually, he wedges himself into it behind the console, but it sounds better the other way; nothing he does is graceful these days. Anyway. He sits down, pushes a few buttons, and waits for the computer to respond.

"C'mon Kestrel, you gotta work with me here." he coaxes. She's a good ship - or at least that's what the previous owner said. It got him here, at least...wherever 'here' is. The onboard map doesn't exactly work. But the rest of it does, if you give it time to catch up to itself. The screen flickers on. He presses a few more buttons and sits back.

"Hey Finn, it's me. I probably shouldn't be sending you this transmission, since I'm technically AWOL, but I wanted to let you know I'm okay. We're okay." his hand goes down to his belly, pressed uncomfortably against the console. "I'd tell you where I am, but I don't really know. And if I did, I wouldn't want anyone showing up unnanounced. But it's pretty here. Uninhabited as far as I can tell, and dangerous wildlife seems to be fairly minimal. Not a bad place to end up." he sighs. "Anyway. Won't be long now 'till, uh..." he pauses, looking for the right words, but finds nothing. "...'till it happens. I know you can't, but...I wish you could be here." and now he's rambling. He swallows against the unexpected lump in his throat and continues. "But enough about me, you've got a mission to finish. Keep yourself safe, and we'll see you when it's over-" BB-8 warbles behind him, adding its two cents. He laughs and translates: "that was BB-8, he says 'good luck'." then he reaches for the END TRANSMISSION button. "See you soon, Finn. Love you." a soft 'click', and the message is sent. Another sigh pulls all the air from him, which isn't much. He's fighting the kid for every few breaths now.

The kid...damn, that idea still catches him off-guard sometimes. He'll have to get used to it soon, though. Can't be more than a few days left. He pulls himself up from the chair and, with BB-8 chattering at his feet, trudges off to the sleeping quarters. Time for a nap.

 

☆☆☆

 

**They found each other again a few months after Starkiller Base, when the dust had settled and Finn was recovered. Ran into each other in a shuttle bay, then met again that night in Finn's quarters and several more times over the following days. And it was good. More than good, it was great. But then Finn was deployed, Poe was called off to some obscure system, and they were left with each other's transmission frequencies and a promise to keep in touch and not much else. That's how it goes sometimes. So they returned to their respective lives and they really did keep in touch...for about a month. After that the transmissions got fewer and fewer, and eventually stopped.**

**Until Finn went to Coruscant for a week's shore leave. While looking up his next orders he found no fewer than nine transmissions waiting, all of them from Poe; the most recent one was just a few days old. He settled back to listen. The first three were routine - miss you, stay safe, hope to see you soon - but they soon took a more urgent tone. 'Finn, we need to talk'. 'There's something I have to tell you'. 'I need to see you, what system are you in?'. It continued in the same vein, with Finn getting more and more concerned, until the last message. The transmission was staticky, as though it had come from a distant star system; Poe's voice shook a little.**

**"Finn, hi. Look, uh...you haven't been answering my transmissions, and I hope that doesn't mean you've crashed on a moon somewhere-" a forced laugh crackled through the line "-but assuming you are still alive, there's something I really need to tell you. Have been needing to tell you, and should have before we- anyway. I hope you're sitting down..." Finn heard Poe take a deep breath and automatically, he did too. Then the other shoe dropped. "Finn, I'm pregnant." a long pause followed, long enough for Finn's heart to skip several beats. "I wasn't sure 'till about a month ago, and by then i-"**

**Finn paused the transmission and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He could hear his own pulse in his head. Poe was pregnant. This changes everything. Stars and space, as if their life couldn't get any crazier...he pressed PLAY, almost afraid of what else he might hear.**

**"-t was too late, but...Finn, we have to talk about this. I'm in the Bespin system; I know you're on a mission, but I have to see you. Sooner rather than later. Please." the message crackled abruptly into silence.**

**"END OF NEW TRANSMISSIONS." said the computer, and went back to beeping and humming importantly. Finn sat, stunned, staring at nothing. Poe was pregnant. The thought ran circles through his head, as though repeating it might convince him it was real. He couldn't get over the fear in the pilot's voice, the vulnerability. That was so out of character for Poe. He'd never heard Poe Dameron frightened before, not even with a whole squadron of First Order ships on his tail. The Bespin system...he brought up a star map. That was no more than a few hundred light years away. He could get there and back in a week, right? Finn jumped up, re-packed his things, and hurried out the door. But not before sending a transmission back to Poe:**

**"I'm on my way."**

 

☆☆☆

 

A torrent of beeps and whistles wakes Poe from his nap. He opens his eyes; BB-8 is right in his face and chattering like crazy. Poe puts his hand on the little droid to silence it.

"I'm awake, I'm awake." he sits up. BB-8 rolls back on the mattress. It barely makes a dent, which just shows how hard the damn bed is. "What's up buddy, you need something?" the droid warbles a few words. "From who?" another chirp. "Great. Figures he'd be the first one to notice I'm gone..." Poe climbs out of bed and shuffles to the little wall-mounted comm screen. The thing blinks like an angry eye. He presses a few buttons and puts on his best smile. A long, gray, tusked face appears on screen: a Pacithhip.

"Poe Dameron." it wheezes.

"Zadra! Good to see you, man. What can I do for you?"

"What is your location?" Pacithhip are not the most cordial species in the galaxy.

"My location? I'm in the, uh..." he pulls a name out of the air. "the Alpha Pavonis system. Sorry I didn't notify you, sir, I had to leave in a bit of a hurry." which was mostly true.

"Mm. And what was your reason for departing unnanounced- assuming you have one?"

"Family emergency, sir." also true. Technically.

Zadra eyes him skeptically. That caught him by surprise. "I was not aware you had any family."

"That's why it's an emergency."

"Indeed." Zadra snuffles wetly. Was that a laugh, or a sneeze? "When may we expect your return?"

"I'm nearly on the other side of the galaxy. It'll be at least a month."

"A month?? That is unacceptable! Why-"

"I'm sorry, sir, that's the best I can do." he doesn't like where this conversation is going. He reaches for the signal dial and wiggles it back and forth a bit until the image distorts, then tries to look alarmed. "Looks like there's an ion storm on the way. I'd better go, but I'll keep you appraised. Poe out."

End of transmission. That was close. Poe wanders away from the screen and yawns enormously. It's light outside, he notices...how long was he asleep? "BB-8, what time is it?" he asks. There's an answering chirp from across the room: it's 0800. That 'nap' went all the way through the night. "Well then, good morning, I guess." BB-8 trills a greeting back to him. Poe heads back to the sleeping quarters, idly rubbing his belly as he goes. "And good morning to you too, little fish." he smiles. He crouches - a risky move nowadays - and digs a packet of field rations out of his bag. Not much, but it's edible. And it looks like he might be eating down here: he's overbalanced. Damn this belly. "BB?" he calls. "Need a hand over here." then he scoots himself back toward the bed. Maybe he can stand up from there.

BB-8 arrives with a whirr, always eager to help. It plants itself solidly when Poe asks and the pilot braces against it to haul himself upright. It works okay, until he makes the grave mistake of shifting his footing. His feet go right out from under him, BB-8 goes careening away across the floor, and he lands - hard - right on his hip. He yelps. Once he gets his breath back, he's torn between annoyance, pain, and plain old embarrassment.

"Stars and space..."

BB-8 comes rolling back. The little droid seems to recognize that something's wrong; it scoots up close to Poe and whistles a note of concern. He shakes his head. "No, I'm okay. Sorry 'bout that." he gets to his feet - swearing at his hip - and absently bites off a corner of the field ration.

This kid can't come soon enough.

 

 

☆☆☆

 

**Finn found his pilot on the outskirts of a mining colony, in an old Rebel base. After many hurried greetings and apologies and half-finished explanations, they just sat. Listened to the ever-present wind whistle around the building, tried to think of what to say.**

**Finn spoke first, eventually. He wasn't intending to, but his brain sort of hijacked his mouth. "...So you're actually pregnant? You didn't just say that so I'd fly halfway across the galaxy to see you?" he threw in a half-smile for safety's sake.**

**Poe let out a wry laugh. "No, I'm actually pregnant." he leaned back, arched his back just a little and sure enough: there was a bump, just visible through his shirt. He looked down at it, then at Finn. "Finn, I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you until I was sure, and I didn't know what you'd..." his body language curled back into closed, uncertain, protective. "I didn't know what you'd say." male carriers were not a very widely-accepted idea. Even in this day and age, there were star systems where you could get arrested - or worse - just for being with someone of the same gender. He'd learned to keep things under wraps.**

**Finn stared. "Why 'sorry'? Stars, Poe, what did you think I was going to say??"**

**"I don't know," Poe sounded uncertain and scared, so unlike himself. "I thought maybe you'd...I don't know."**

**"Poe." Finn waited until he had the pilot's attention. His dark eyes were wide and honest. "I'm okay with it if you are."**

**Finally Poe cracked a smile. Or at least a smirk. But it didn't last long. "How do we do this, though? Half the time, we're not even in the same system. How can we expect to raise a kid?"**

**Finn shook his head. He didn't know either. "I'm scared too. But we can figure it out** **." he smiled in earnest. "We'll make it work."**

 **They lapsed back into silence. Outside the grimy window a beldon drifted past, trailing glowing tendrils. Maybe it was weird to r** **eact to news like this with such (relative) calm, but that's how Finn and Poe were. They'd seen a lot, they could afford to take things in stride.**

**"...Finn?"**

**"Mm?"**

**"I love you."**

**Finn smiled. And nothing more was said.**

 

★★★

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Two days pass.

Poe spends most of them working on the ship, which seems to be held together by nothing but hope and spare parts. He discovers that the local wildlife is, in fact, dangerous, but only to the ship: something has chewed a ragged hole in the exhaust port. Which will have to wait. No way is he climbing around on a ship at nine months. Besides, it's not like he's going anywhere. And even if he did, he'd have to answer to BB-8; the droid has appointed itself to the role of bodyguard. It follows him, warbling cheerfully and helping where it can, but also scolding him when he tries to do anything strenuous. Like opening an access panel, or retrieving a fallen tool. Finn would have found it hilarious.

Speaking of Finn; there hasn't been a single transmission since he got here. Just the one from Zadra, and a long-distance message from General Organa. He tries not to let it bother him. Finn is on a mission, radio silence is to be expected. But still, he misses him. And he worries. At least this time he can blame it on hormones...that, or being pregnant has just gone to his head. Walking around for too long ties his back up in knots, but the baby pummels his insides if he sits down. Everything is uncomfortable.

Which is why he doesn't mind so much when, on the afternoon of day three, he has to climb down into a maintenance hatch to work. He's already sore, a little extra discomfort won't make much of a difference. He scrunches up as much as he's able in the small space - i.e. nearly flat on his back - and dives into the jungle of wires. BB-8 whines its concern from above until given a job translating for the ship's computer. That distracts it long enough for him to get some actual work done.

Between talking to BB-8, wrestling with wires, routing and re-routing power and a million other things, the hours pass quickly. He's in his element here. He doesn't even notice at first that that nagging little ache is getting meaner, not until he tries to scoot himself upright and it stops him. His wrench clatters to the floor. A band of pressure is closing around his midsection, tighter and tighter until he can barely move. Damn, it hurts. He tries again to sit up, but some instinct tells him to be still. So he forces himself to relax until the pain reaches its peak, ebbs, and is gone. Then he lets out a breath. That was a contraction; the real thing.

It's happening.

 

☆☆☆

 

**On a board beneath his X-wing, Poe hummed a tuneless tune as he worked. This was his favorite place to be. Around him, the hangar buzzed with activity, but down here it was quiet. Safe. He could just be himself. Which currently meant elbow-deep in circuitry, covered in smears of engine grease, and - by his estimate - about six months pregnant. Not that you'd know it at first glance, though: an extra-large flight suit is great for hiding things. But when he extracted one hand from the tangle to look for a wrench, the shift and pull of fabric at his midsection left no room for doubt. He'd been spending a lot of time by himself since he started to show. The less people knew about it, the better. He was excited about it and so was Finn, and that was more than enough. He fumbled around the scattering of instruments beside him. He knew all his tools by touch, but where-? "BB-8, could you pass me the gasket wrench?" he held out his hand and was met with cold, familiar metal seconds later.**

**"You'd be better off with a half-inch socket wrench."**

**"Right, thanks." Poe exchanged one tool for the other and went back to work. Then it dawned on him. He sat bolt upright, and there was a resounding BANG as skull and metal collided. He swore. Once the stars cleared from his vision and his head stopped ringing, he opened his streaming eyes to try again. Just a few feet away, smiling with a mix of sympathy and gentle amusement, was none other than General Organa. With BB-8 at her side. The little traitor. She nodded a greeting. "Captain Dameron."**

**Poe sat up again, gingerly this time. "General Organa. I'm sorry, I wasn't, ah...I wasn't expecting you." he croaked.**

**"That's alright. Do you have a minute?"**

**"Sure." Poe scooted out from under the X-wing and got to his feet. His head throbbed; oh, the bruises he'd have. The General beckoned, and he obediently followed. The other pilots - thank the stars - gave them no more than a glance as they passed. Self-consciousness was an unfamiliar sensation to Poe, but he'd already decided he didn't like it one bit. He plunged his hands into his pockets. General Organa led him all the way across the hangar, down a side hallway and into an empty office. The nice thing about being a general is no one really questions you. As the door swished shut, Poe found himself smirking a little. "Am I in trouble, General?" he had to lighten the mood or he'd explode from all the what-ifs.**

**"No, you're not in trouble. But there have been rumors around the base, and I would like to settle them."**

**"Rumors?" taken aback, Poe let out a bark of laughter that surprised even him. BB-8 rolled away with a squeak. "With all due respect, ma'am, people can think whatever they want about me. I don't care much either way."**

**"I'm afraid these are fairly serious."**

**His insides froze. It took all his self-control to keep his hands in his pockets and not on his belly. Somehow he managed a strangled "Oh?" but the General smiled.**

**"No need to look so scared, Captain." she said gently. "I'm not out to get you, I just want to know if the rumors are true."**

**"Well, why don't you tell me what they are so we can find out?"**

**The two stared each other down. General Organa seemed to be weighing her words and when she finally spoke, it was slow. "Well, the rumor is that you're a carrier-"**

**"I'm afraid that one's true." better get the truth out, since they're here anyway.**

**"-and that you're pregnant." she finished patiently. Her eyes just about pinned him down where he stood. No way he could lie his way out of this one. He let his hands come out of his pockets to rest on his belly, and that seemed to be all the answer she needed. "...I see." she said evenly. "You have my congratulations. However, if the father is a member of your squadron, you should know that-"**

**"I'm aware of the rules, General. And he's not a pilot. He's a stormtrooper." said Poe with just a hint of pride.**

**The General made a thoughtful sound. She wasn't one to judge, at least not out loud. "Well, if you know the rules, then you'll also know that you could face dismissal for this."**

**"...Yeah, I know." he'd been trying not to think about that. Flying had been his life since he was old enough to pilot a skyhopper; if he didn't have that, there'd be nothing left of him. "I've been trying to fly under the radar."**

**"You can't do that forever."**

**Poe turned his gaze to his feet. That idea had cost him a few sleepless nights already. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the General's expression soften into something more honest and open.**

**"You're our best pilot, Dameron, I'd hate to lose you...I'll see what I can do."**

**"Thank you, ma'am."**

**The General let out a wry laugh. "Don't thank me yet. I can't promise anything. I can pull some strings, but you may have to do more than just stay under the radar." finally, she cracked a smile. "I'm happy for you, Captain, I really am." Poe grinned in response, and she gestured to the door. "Now get back out there before people get suspicious."**

**"Yes ma'am." Poe turned and beckoned to BB-8. His flood of relief carried him all the way back to his ship.**

  

 

☆☆☆

 

Poe stays down in the maintenance hatch for another hour or two. For one thing, there's still stuff to be done. For another, he's just a damn coward. As excited as he's been to have this baby and get it over with, now that it's actually happening, he's scared to death. The beginning of every contraction comes with a little thrill of fear. It's like his first time in an X-wing, minus the adrenaline rush. But as the contractions close in, it becomes hard to breathe and even harder to concentrate. It's getting claustrophobic down here. He has to get out. He hauls himself up the narrow ladder and out of the hatch, then sits on the edge for a bit. How long was it since the last one?

BB-8 rolls up behind him as he ponders. The droid warbles its concern. He glances over his shoulder and manages something close to a smile. "Hey buddy." a whistle. He nods. "Yeah, I'm okay." for now. But he knows what's coming. It's going to be a busy night. "Could you help me up? Wanna send a transmission to Finn while I still can."

Poe gets to his feet with BB-8's help (and a minimum of disaster), closes the hatch, and waddles away. Stars, but the baby's riding low all of a sudden...that's good, though, right? It had better be, he's light-years away from any medical help. Over to the comm; a few beeps, and he's on-air.

"Hey Finn. Uh..." now that he's here, he doesn't know what to say. "It's happening. Like, actually happening. I'm having contractions and I..." and what? I'm alone on an uninhabited planet in a ship that isn't mine, you're hundreds of light-years away, and I'm suddenly thinking this was a bad idea? "...I miss you." the comm screen blurs and swims, and he pauses for a deep breath or two. Damn these hormones. "Anyway. Next time you hear from me, you'll be a dad. We both will." it dawns on Poe, a little too late, that the pressure is creeping back. So it's twelve minutes. That answers that question. He screws his eyes shut and grits out "Computer, pause-" but then it crests and and stops him short. Stars above, this hurts! He sinks to his knees. It helps a little, but not enough. A groan works its way out of his chest to bounce off the metal walls. Ten seconds, twenty, thirty. Once he realizes the contraction's tapering off he forces himself to stand, and finds the screen still blinking. His heart sinks. "Hey. I'm okay. Sorry you had to hear that, it kinda...caught me off-guard. But don't worry about me, Finn. I'm gonna be fine, you hear me?" he allows himself a wry smile. Who exactly are you trying to convince, here? "I'll spare you any further serenading, though, and just sign off here. Love you."

END TRANSMISSION. Poe looks down at his belly. "Was that really necessary?" he chides, half-joking. "I know you want out, but you didn't have to interrupt." the baby stretches languidly in response, threatening to rearrange all his organs. He grimaces. "Alright, alright, you've made your point." time to go lay down and call a truce. Or at least a stalemate.

He could use some rest anyway.

 

☆☆☆

 

**"...and I take back what I said about the wildlife. Didn't think mynocks could survive in an oxygen environment, but I swear this planet has 'em. Little bastards ate the exhaust port..."**

**Finn smiled fondly. Catching up on transmissions from Poe had become his favorite part of shore leave. He reclined on his bunk, happy to just listen as his boyfriend's voice flowed from the comm.**

**"...making things difficult. I mean, I've put more work into this gal than any other ship I've had." Poe sighed. When he spoke again, there was a smile in his voice. "I know, I know, 'don't complain so much'. I hear you. I am grateful; she got me from A to B in one piece. She's a good ship. And she'll be the kiddo's first-ever ship." a pause. "Finn, I am so ready to have this baby. I wanna meet him. Or her, whichever. Mostly I'm just tired of being the same size as this bucket of bolts...anyway, I miss you. See you soon."**

**Finn had to push down a pang of guilt as he reached for the comm. They both knew he couldn't be there for the birth, he had to be okay with that. He pressed PLAY. A rattling noise immediately filled the room and for a moment he thought he'd done something wrong, until Poe's voice cut in. "Do you hear this??" he sounded for all the world like an excited kid, so much that Finn couldn't help but laugh. He could hear BB-8 fretting in the background, clearly not as enthused about whatever was happening. "This place has the most incredible hailstorms! It's been doing this for almost an hour. The hailstones are as big as marbles and they're turquoise, I wish you could see it! Hang on a sec-" Poe's voice faded out as he moved away from the comm and there were a few seconds of rattling. The door to Finn's room slid open, making him jump. It was Rey; they'd been lucky enough to end up on the same planet, and were hanging out until one or the other had to leave again. Her pockets were full of what appeared to be fruit. She unloaded them onto the end of the bunk, then paused. "What's that sound?"**

**"Transmission from Poe. Apparently the planet has hailstorms."**

**"Hail-what?"**

**"Little balls of ice from the sky."**

**Rey looked horrified at the thought, but sat down to listen anyway. Poe's footsteps came through the comm, followed by his voice. "...okay, so they're getting bigger. This is amazing. And the baby's kicking like you wouldn't believe..." BB-8 whined. "No, you're okay, buddy. Just stay inside. Finn, I gotta cut this short, I have to keep an eye on the Kestrel. I'll talk to you later." the transmission ended. In the staticky absence of noise it left behind, Finn examined one of the fruits Rey had brought. It looked like an oversized, stretched-out apple. He peered at his friend.**

**"Did you pay for these...?" he teased.**

**Rey feigned offence. "Of course! What kind of person do you think I am?"**

**"A scavenger." Finn smirked and pulled out his pocketknife. The fruit was royal purple where he cut into it, sweet and slightly fizzy when he took a bite.**

**"Well, let's hear the next one." said Rey around a mouthful of fruit. She hadn't bothered to cut hers. "Is there another one...?"**

**"There's one more." he pressed play. A few seconds of worrying silence followed. He was about to press it again when Poe finally spoke.**

**"Hey Finn." a long pause. "It's happening. Like, actually happening. I'm having contractions and I..." he trailed off. Everything stopped. Finn was pretty sure he should be happy, or at least excited, but what he felt instead was closer to terror. "...I miss you. Anyway. Next time you hear from me, you'll be a dad. We both will." Finn looked over at Rey. Her eyes were wide, her face unreadable. Then it occurred to him that the transmission had gone quiet. But no sooner had the thought crossed his mind than a new sound issued from the comm: a bitten-off computer command, followed by a groan that made his hair stand on end. There was a lot of pain in that sound. It went on and on for half an eternity before fading out. Poe's voice faded back in. "...Hey. I'm okay. Sorry you had to hear that, it kinda...caught me off-guard. But don't worry about me, Finn. I'm gonna be fine, you hear me? I'll spare you any further serenading, though, and just sign off here. Love you."**

**Silence. The fruit sat uneaten in Finn's hand, dribbling juice down his wrist. He couldn't breathe.**

**"Finn?" Rey's voice brought him back to reality. "Are you okay?"**

**Is he? He dropped the remainder of the fruit back on his bunk and stood up. "I'm going to find Poe."**

**"Finn, you don't even know where he is."**

**"Doesn't matter. I can find him." he threw some of his things into a bag. "I can trace the transmission, I can..." he shrugged helplessly. It was breaking his promise, but he couldn't just sit here when he knew Poe was hurting.**

**Before Rey could say anything in response, he was out the door and gone.**

 

 

★★★

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

"Shit, shit, SHIT-" Poe crouches down behind the copilot's chair, hanging his weight off the back. He's so tired. Tired way past the point of caring about the sounds he's making, which is probably for the best. He's starting to sound like a wounded animal. Starting to feel like one, too; he can barely walk without hanging onto something. He's never felt more alone than he does right now - ironic in retrospect, since BB-8 has literally not left his side in the past five hours. Or six, or seven...whatever. As soon as it caught on to what was happening it wanted to help. But without hands or limbs, this just meant rolling around making worried noises.

He lets go of the chair and sits down, sending a jolt of pain up his back. Dammit, does every movement have to be painful? BB-8 orbits like a noisy satellite. He sighs.

"Yes. I was okay the last five times you asked me, and I'm still okay now." the droid rolls closer, chatters another question. "Don't you dare. He's probably freaked out already with the message I sent him, I don't want to worry him even more."

(whistle chirp?)

"No. I'll send him a transmission when it's all over. He doesn't need to hear me like this."

BB-8 looks him up and down, considering, then moves back a little. And there's nothing but the sound of his own breathing while he waits. The suns have gone down, he notices. On the other side of the windscreen, a flock of something flies by. They look like what would happen if you combined a lizard and a Goliath beetle. Ugly little things. One of them lands and toddles around on the glass; he makes a face at it, just because he can. Funny how you kind of stop caring when everything hurts.

...And speaking of hurting, there it is again: six minutes exactly. Poe gets onto his knees and reaches for the back of the chair. Oh, fuck this. Fuck everything. Just trying to breathe is taking way too much effort and concentration and why the shit does this have to hurt so much? He keens into the fabric. This triggers BB-8 into making more noise, maybe out of sympathy, maybe nervousness. It rolls back and forth, whining and trilling like it thinks it'll accomplish something.

"BB!" Poe snaps. "That's enough!" it surprises them both. The droid honks and stops short, and they just stare at each other. "Look," he says once he catches his breath. "I know you wanna help, but you're in the way."

(chatter whine)

"No, I'm not mad. But there's nothing you can do right now. Why-"

(warble?)

"I don't know. Why don't you go recharge for a while. I'll call you."

BB-8 does as it's told. With one last mournful look at Poe (how a droid with no real face can look mournful, he'll never know), it turns and rolls away into the depths of the ship. Poe lets out a breath, lets his head fall forward to rest on the chair.

Now he really is alone.

 

☆☆☆

 

**Maz Kanata's new place wasn't quite as flashy. After her castle was destroyed she set up shop under a circus-style tent, nearly on the other side of the planet. It was only half the size, but Maz is Maz: she knew how to run a business. The news traveled quickly. Before long the place was full of patrons of every species, drinking and gambling, filling the tent with chatter and snippets of song. Just as loud and boisterous as before.**

**"I gotta say, Finn, I can't imagine you going to a place like this. Much less enjoying it."**

**Finn and Poe walked together through the trees, with Rey strolling alongside. Finn shrugged. "Only because of Maz."**

**"What's Maz?"**

**"She's the owner." Rey explained. "A friend. She knew Han Solo. We...try to keep in touch."**

**"Ah."**

**They walked a little further. It was early spring there. The sun was out, but there was a chill in the air. Cresting a hill, the tent came into view: a pointed canopy on a wooden frame, rippling just a little in the breeze. It wasn't much to look at, really, just brown and gray. Thin smoke trickled out at the top. "I have to warn you," said Finn as they got closer, "Maz can be a little odd."**

**Poe quirked an eyebrow. "'Odd' how?"**

**"You'll see."**

**Well, that's not encouraging.**

**Rey held open the door-flap, and in they went. Poe had to stop and blink for a moment to adjust. He'd been in places like this before, of course, but this one was something else entirely. It was a riot of noise and activity and movement. He'd never seen so many species in one place. A Devaronian here, a group of Kallidahin there; H'nemthe, Aqualish, even Xexto. They waded through the crowd to another, smaller door-flap tied open at the back. Inside, a small, wiry alien bustled around with its back to the door. It paused as they approached.**

**For a few long seconds, it was still. Then it said, in a voice like sandpaper, "I thought I recognized those footsteps." The alien turned. It - she - was only as tall as a child, but with shrewd eyes and a deeply-lined, orange-skinned face. She peered up at the trio from behind her goggles.**

**Rey smiled. "Hello, Maz."**

**"Rey. It's good to see your eyes." Maz smiled in return. "And Finn! You have news for me?"**

**"Always."**

**"Good news, I hope. I've heard too much of the other kind."**

**Maz led them to a table. They each took a piece of fruit from the bowl in the center (just to be polite), then Rey, Finn, and Maz got to catching up. Poe listened with some interest to the who and when and how and what of new developments in the Resistance - X squadron had retaken Y area of space from the First Order, such-and-such pilot had recieved a special commendation - then on to personal matters. Rey and Finn told their stories, and then suddenly all eyes were on Poe. Maz's eyes in particular, which made him increasingly uncomfortable.**

**"And you." she mused. "I do not know you, but I have seen your eyes many times before."**

**"Um...My name is Poe Dameron. If that means anything."**

**"Mm." Maz reached up and flipped a switch on either side of her goggles. A lens flipped down on each side, magnifying her eyes to bug-like proportions. She stared as though trying to read something in his face, and he found himself almost unable to look away. "You are a pilot." she said at last. "A man who needs to be free. Han was the same." finally, she cast a look at Finn. It was surprisingly sly. "He is yours?"**

**Rey smirked, but Finn sputtered in protest. "No! I mean yes, but...he's not 'mine'-"**

**"But you are together?"**

**"...Yes."**

**Maz nodded knowingly, and switched her eyes to normal. But when she turned them back to Poe, they were just as piercing. "Does he know?"**

**Poe nodded. Suddenly he was very, very aware of his bump. He adjusted the front of his jacket self-consciously. Rey was looking at him.**

**"Know what?" she asked.**

**"...I'm pregnant." cat's out of the bag. Although the dawning astonishment on Rey's face was rather satisfying.**

**"Really??"**

**"Really."**

**Rey smiled her megawatt smile at him for just a moment, then immediately turned and smacked Finn on the arm. "Why didn't you didn't tell me??"**

**"We were going to." Poe chimed in. He shot a sidelong look at Maz, who smiled placidly back. "We were waiting for the right time."**

**"Well, I think it's wonderful news."**

**"Indeed." said Maz. "But Finn- you take good care of him. And the little one."**

**"I will." he said solemnly, both to her and to Poe. Poe smiled in the general direction of his knees.**

**Rey turned to Maz. "Maz, how did you-"**

**But her question went unfinished and unanswered; Maz suddenly leapt up, shouting, and sprinted away across the tent in pursuit of a shoplifting Dug. They watched her disappear into the crowd. Then Finn turned back to Poe. "Sorry about...about her. I didn't think she'd embarrass you like that."**

**"'s alright, I've had worse." Poe shrugged.**

**Finn half-smiled. "Well, we should go anyway. The sun's going down soon." he stood up. But just as Poe was about to do the same, Rey made an indignant noise, grabbed the the hem of both their shirts and pulled them back.**

**"Don't think you can spring news like that on someone and just leave!" she sounded annoyed, but there was a glint in her eye. Finn and Poe sat back down. "I want to hear everything."**

 

☆☆☆

 

This is getting ridiculous.

How many hours now? Nine? Too many, let's just go with that. Nothing stops the pain, nothing makes it better. He's scared. He keeps catching himself reaching out for a nonexistent hand, or trying to lean into someone who's not there. Why did he think he could do this alone?

Because you can, Dameron. Don't go down that path.

Poe rests his head on his arms. The copilot's chair is proving itself useful again; he's sitting in it now, backwards, and it works nicely to relieve the near-constant pressure. With the contractions at almost three minutes, there's not much he can do but wait them out. He hums a low note as the next one comes. Oh stars, it's absolutely relentless.

"Mmmmnn, dammit...fuck-!" the last word comes out just shy of a scream. Okay, that's it. Need to move again. An awkward wriggle backs him out of the chair, then he somehow gets his feet under him. Baby's so low, it's a wonder he can still stand-

'INCOMING TRANSMISSION.'

"Stars and space, what." with some difficulty, Poe changes direction to the comm. He has to prop himself up on the wall when he gets there. Probably someone wondering why he's not back yet...he punches the button. "What do you want, Zadra?"

"Poe?"

"...Finn??" Poe's heart does some sickening combination of a leap and a flop. "What are you-"

"I got your transmission." Finn says breathlessly.

"Yeah, I figured- I'm sorry, I should've cut that last part. I'm okay, I promise." as okay he can be, anyway. A muted engine whoosh comes from the comm. "Wait, what are you doing?"

"I'm gonna come find you."

Great, more conflicting feelings. "Finn, don't. We talked about this. "

"Too late."

"Finn-!"

"Look, you shouldn't have to do this alone." the engine noise rises to a throaty hum. "I wanna be there with you." and Poe wants to argue, but his body makes the point for him. That wasn't three minutes. He swears through his teeth and hopes Finn won't hear, but of course he does. "...was that a contraction?"

"Yes, it's a fucking contraction, what did you think-" he interrupts himself with a moan. "Gimme a sec." Poe leans as much of himself on the wall as he can and lets his body take over. Coming out of it, he's never heard such a tense silence.

"Finn? You still there?"

Silence.

"Finn?"

He looks at the screen. A message blinks back at him: 'TRANSMISSION TERMINATED'.

Well. This changes things.

 

☆☆☆

 

**"Finn, wake up. Finn!"**

**Poe gently shook his sleeping boyfriend. "Finn!" he said, a little louder. Finn sighed in his sleep, rolled a little closer, and nestled up against Poe. Which was endearing as hell, but the opposite of what he wanted at the moment. He pushed him away. "Hey. FN-2187. Wake up." Finally, he did. He lifted his head just enough to stare blearily. "Hey, sleeping beauty."**

**"Okay, just let them out the airlock when we get there." Finn slurred.**

**"What?"**

**"...What?"**

**"Never mind, here-" Poe felt around in the dark for his boyfriend's hand, and held it to his belly with a grin. A long, sleepy silence followed.**

**"Am I supposed to feel something, or are you just reminding me that it's there?" said Finn. "'Cause I promise I haven't forgotten."**

**"It WAS kicking..." Poe joined Finn's hand with his own. C'mon, kiddo.**

**"Mm. I'm sure it was." Finn pulled his hand away and tucked it under the pillow. His boyfriend sat up, both hands on his belly. All's quiet, inside and out.**

**"You're devious, kid, you know that?" he muttered. The baby didn't answer. So he let his mind wander and his eyes drift shut, and he was almost asleep when - "Oh! Here, quick-" he grabbed Finn's hand again, pressed it to his belly.**

**"Poe, I don't feel any-"**

**"Shh, just wait."**

**They waited. And waited. And then, there it was: that little telltale flutter, just under the skin. He heard Finn gasp.**

**"Was that it?" Finn said, breathless.**

**"Yeah. You felt it?"**

**"Yeah." there was another flutter, a stronger one, and Finn laughed in astonishment. "What...what does it feel like?"**

**"Feels like a fish swimming around in there."**

**Finn laughed again. "Stars and space..." he propped himself up on one elbow and leaned in for a kiss, which Poe returned with enthusiasm.**

**"That's our baby." he whispered.**

**"Love you so much, Poe."**

**The pilot smiled. "Love you too."**

 

☆☆☆

 

Finally, almost there. Only an hour since his water broke and the contractions are coming hard and fast. It's almost a relief. Or it would be, if he could still string a thought together...his dignity will never survive this. He's on all fours by the bed, having landed there a while ago, and wearing nothing but his undershirt. Good thing he's the only one here. For now.

Dammit Finn, why can't you just do as you're told? Part of Poe wants to see him - it's been ages, he misses his stormtrooper something awful - but the rest of him is roaring with hormones and protective instincts and wants nothing to do with anyone. It'll be a day or two until he gets here, though, at least. Maybe he'll have things sorted out by then. Another contraction rolls through, punching a hard, guttural sound from his throat; his legs are shaking. He waits for the lull, then moves back to sit on the balls of his feet. As he does, something inside him seems to fall into place. The pressure increases tenfold but it feels...good? It feels right.

(chirp?)

Poe opens his eyes. "BB? What do you want?" privacy? What's that? 

(twitter squeak buzz)

"Fine. Whatever. Just keep...keep it down, okay?" the droid warbles agreement and hurries to Poe's side just as he hunches into a contraction. This one is different. Powerful. It drags a whine out of him that - oh. Oh, fuck. Suddenly he knows exactly what that shift was. He pulls himself up far enough to prop his arms on the bed, and maneuvers the rest of him into a low squat. It's happening now. With or without Finn. Another wave comes and he leans into it, pushing back against the pressure. It's a bit like flying, in a way: go where it takes you, not the other way around. He stops only to breathe and then he's off again, racing the end of the contraction. It hurts but at the same time it's good. This is the last step; the end of the ride.

BB-8 trills something that's probably meant to be helpful, but Poe doesn't have the brain cells to translate it. This kid's coming fast. He takes a breath, bears down hard and feels it advance just enough to be encouraging. It feels like it's going to split him in half. The next wave brings the pressure to a single, burning point; he cries out as long and loud as he dares. No one to hear him out here. The pain is centered now, and ruthless, and he bears down just to make some headway against it. Then he reaches down just as it's tapering off and feels, with a surge of relief, a little sliver of scalp working its way out. Finally some progress.

But birth, it turns out, is not always quick. It takes three changes of position and an hour of pushing to make any further progress. But when it happens, does it ever. The stretch and burn peaks and he drops to all fours, half-kneeling, half-squatting. One hand reaches down to find a full head of hair just crowning; another loud push and it's out. BB-8 squeaks excitedly. 

"Alright, kiddo. Ready or not..." Poe croaks. His voice is just about shot. The next contraction twists around his belly and he bears down with it, harder and harder until he's sure it's tearing him apart. He feels the shoulders emerge and gathers what's left of his strength for one last hurrah. But he barely has to push at all before the tiny body slips free.

And then his baby is in his hands - bloody, squalling, perfect - and he falls back against the bed and he's grinning like an idiot but he's happy. The happiest man in the galaxy as far as he's concerned. BB-8 is chattering up a storm of delighted gibberish. He brings the baby up to his chest.

"You're a girl." he breathes. She's incredible. Ten fingers, ten toes, skin just this side of dark and a full head of hair. "You're a girl." he repeats it, just to hear it again. A daughter - he's a dad! Still panting with exertion, he cuddles her close. How can anything be so tiny? BB-8 crowds in to get a look; it would be standing on tiptoes, if it had them. Poe half-turns. "Hey. Do me a favor?"

(chirp?)

"Send a message to Finn. Tell him the new copilot is onboard."

 

☆☆☆

 


	4. Chapter 4

Given the choice, Poe would have stayed there on the floor with the baby until Finn arrived. But there was still stuff to take care of, and the delivery of the afterbirth ruined the moment anyway. So he cuts the cord, puts the whole mess in the incinerator, cleans off the baby as best he can, and goes to find her a blanket.

"This is from your aunt Rey." he murmurs as he wraps her up. "Actually, she doesn't know I still have it...but I don't think she'd mind. It'll be our secret, huh?" the baby wrinkles her nose in disdain as he picks her up, holds her close. Stars, but she's tiny. He walks (hobbles, really) on leaden, shaky legs back to his bed and climbs in. Everything is sore. Exhaustion is lurking at the corners of his brain, but at the same time he's wide awake. It's like coming back from a really dangerous mission, when he's tired from flying but still full of adrenaline. Except this time, instead of adrenaline he just feels...good. Happy. Like everything he could ever need is right here in this room.

Almost everything.

Poe suddenly, achingly misses Finn. He should have been there when it happened. He should be here now. But then the pilot looks down at his daughter, wrapped in sandy-gray, and he can't help but smile. Good things do come in small packages. Even after a ten-hour labor. Faintly, he hears the whirr of a motor; BB-8 is peeking through the door like a shy kid.

"What?"

(whistle chirp...?)

"Of course you can come in, you don't hafta ask."

The droid rolls into the room with a volley of happy slide-whistle noises and hooks itself up onto the bed. Poe instinctively holds the baby up out of harm's way. "Whoa, be careful." startled, she immediately raises the alarm. It's a high, thready noise that kicks his nerves right into overdrive. Now what? He bounces her a little. "Hey, stand down the red alert, missy. You're okay. That's just BB-8, he's not gonna hurt you." she stops crying and fusses instead, opening her steel-blue eyes and squinting up at him. Poe smiles. "There's my girl." he draws one finger across her cheek. She makes a grab for it as it goes by, mouthing eagerly. "Wait, what are you- what does that mean?" he does it again. This time she catches his finger and sucks greedily on it, and cries as soon as he pulls it away. "Oh, you're hungry, huh? Is that what all the fuss is about?" she adds one last whine for emphasis. "I think so too. Let's see what we can do about it." Poe looks down to find his body has beaten him to it: there are two little wet spots darkening the front of his shirt. "Oh. Uh..." that's embarrassing. Setting the baby in his lap, he pulls the shirt off and throws it aside, then quickly scoops her up again and holds her to his chest. "Okay, now hopefully one of us knows what to do here," he mutters, trying to guide her to the right place. But she figures it out, and latches on so hard it makes him gasp. Parenting lesson 1: check.

He hardly dares to move after that. The baby's nursing triggers another wash of hormones, and the deepest calm that Poe has ever known. A sense of utter contentment and well-being settles over him like a blanket...he might just melt into the bed. In fact, he's almost dozing when he feels the baby pull away. "All done?" he asks groggily. She smacks her lips; he smirks. "Okay then."

Figuring out how to burp her takes another few minutes, by which point they're both very tired indeed. So he lays down and settles her next to him and finally - finally - lets go. With his newborn daughter at his side and BB-8 watching over them both, Poe Dameron drifts off into a deep and much-needed sleep.

 

☆☆☆

 

**The hangar was busy. Everyone had places to be, important things to do: including Poe, clicking his way across the gleaming floors. He was almost nine months now. His whole squadron knew about it, although - thankfully - most of them were smart enough to keep their traps shut. ******

**Then there were others.**

**Poe ducked into Air Traffic Control and was met with a chorus of hoots and jeers. A human, a Trandoshan, and a Balosar leered at him from atop a shipping crate.**

**"Well well, look who's here!" said the Balosar, smirking unpleasantly. "It's our resident incubator!" their companions snickered.**

**"Go kiss a Wookiee." growled Poe. He pulled a data stick from his pocket and jammed it into the nearest computer terminal.**

**"Ooh, someone's feisty. Feeling a little hormonal today, are we?"**

**Poe let that comment slide. He was already fighting the urge to punch all three of them. Then the Trandoshan spoke up.**

**"What are you doing here, anyway? Shouldn't you be fixing up the nursery?"**

**"I happen to be submitting a flight plan. Not that it's any of your business."**

**"The General's still letting you fly??"**

**"Oh, don't sound so surprised." he returned the data stick to his pocket. "I mean, if they let YOU fly, they'll let anyone fly." with that, he turned to leave, but the Balosar suddenly hopped down to block his path. They only came up to his shoulder.**

**"Speaking of standards, Dameron," they sneered, "who's the father? Did you even get his name?"**

**Poe pointedly ignored them, turning instead to the human. "Dorian, would you tell your little gang to back off?"**

**"Tell them yourself."**

**Don't tempt me, he thought. But then he looked down at the scrawny Balosar, still doing their best to leer at him, and realized he had far better things to do. He shouldered past them.**

**"What, you're not even gonna stand up for yourself?" one of them called after him. He walked a little faster. And once he was out of sight, he allowed himself a little satisfied smirk. If only those bastards knew what he was up to.**

 

☆☆☆

 

 

Poe does a lot of sleeping the next day. And the day after that. The only time he's awake is when the baby is hungry or one of them needs a bathroom break; the rest of the time, you could set off a bomb in his ear and he wouldn't notice.

Poor BB-8 is bored out of its mind. Of couse it does a very good job of watching over the ship, not to mention Poe and the baby, but that's it. That's all there is to do. The only exciting part is the lizard-beetles that keep getting in through the ventilation ducts, and those are easy to get rid of. No transmissions, no storms, nothing. Eventually the droid just parks itself outside the sleeping quarters.

If anyone needs it, it'll be in standby mode.

 

☆☆☆

 

**The Kestrel's engine sighed as it dropped out of light speed. Stars swam into focus, and Poe gave the hull an appreciative pat. "'Atta girl, I knew you could do it. Now, let's figure out where we are and find a place to set up shop." he pressed a few buttons to bring up the map, and-**

**[UNABLE TO ACCESS DATA]**

**"Aw, what? C'mon, you were doing so well...!"**

**[UNABLE TO ACCESS DATA]**

**"...Okay. You know what, that's fine. You did your best, I'll figure it out from here." at least he still had sensors. Poe looked around. It was a binary system: a white dwarf and a low main sequence star. A sensor sweep showed several habitable planets in orbit; he picked one and headed toward it.**

**"Alright BB-8, I'm takin' us in." he switched to impulse power. The droid, ensconced in its little port outside the cockpit, gave an excited whistle and hunkered down.**

**He couldn't help but feel a little smug. According to the flight plan he submitted, he was on a moon on the other side of the galaxy, picking up an Ewok delegate (who would be just fine, they found her an alternate transport back to her homeworld). After he dropped her off on Yavin he was to head back to the base, but would run into an unexpected ion storm and turn up 'missing' days later...it was all going according to plan. He'd even traded his X-wing for this ship, a little one-person runabout called Kestrel. Admittedly, he didn't feel too great about that part, but it couldn't be helped. He'd stayed on the base too long already. If word of his pregnancy reached the ears of a colonel or admiral, he could be court-martialed. Disappearing was easier. He just had to be scarce for a while, at least until reappearing wouldn't cause suspicion. And this was as good a place to deliver as any...**

**General Organa, I owe you one.**  

 

☆☆☆

 

 It occurs to Poe that he's awake. He's rather not be just yet, so he burrows back under the covers and shuts his eyes. Then something else occurs to him: he isn't alone. There are footsteps, heavy ones, clomping around out by the cockpit.

First comes fear - isn't this planet supposed to be uninhabited? But then anger takes over, and sets his newfound instincts snarling. This is **his** ship. Whatever's out there can fuck off. He sits up, taking a moment to check on the baby (still there, still fast asleep). There's a disruptor in his bag, if he can just-

He's still in mid-rummage when he hears the footsteps closing in. His fingers close around the disruptor's metal stock and he yanks it up out of the bag, flipping the safety catch and pointing it toward the door just as they reach the threshold. He gets a glimpse of dark skin and tan jacket before the intruder catches sight of the gun and flings themselves to the ground.

"I mean you no harm, but I ask that you leave this vessel immediately." he recites in plain Basic. "I carry nothing of value." a phrase all pilots learn to memorize before going off-planet. He's had to use it many times.

The intruder chuckles. "Y'know, uh...I'm sure there are better ways to greet someone." a familiar face rises up from the foot of the bed.

Relief and surprise spend a few moments fighting for dominance. Meanwhile, Poe just stares. The intruder comes to the head of the bed and gently takes the disruptor from his unresisting hand. Reality snaps back into focus.

"Finn," Poe breathes. The stormtrooper smiles.

"Hey."

They both move at once: one for a kiss, the other to bring their foreheads together. The result is...well, awkward. Forehead and chin connect just fast enough to hurt; they recoil with a yelp, eyes streaming but giggling like teenagers. Their next try is only marginally more graceful.

"I missed you." whispers Finn.

"Missed you too. Even if you did break your promise."

Finn smirks. "If it makes you feel better, I have five or six transmissions' worth of Rey telling me off for that."

"Good."

"...and I got BB-8's message, too."

"You wanna meet 'em?" Poe grins. He can't help it.

"...Yeah."

The pilot sits back. "Close your eyes."

When Finn does as he's told, Poe turns, picks up the baby and holds her up to him. He blindly takes her into his arms, supporting her weight. Then he opens his eyes. At first he gapes, struck dumb by this little seven-pound thing. His gaze moves up and down her face: the nose that looks just like his, the tiny lips that curve exactly like Poe's.

"So. What do you think of your daughter?"

"Daughter?" Finn repeats. His dark eyes are wide as dinner plates. "It's a girl?"

"Avia."

"Avia..." for the first time since Poe has known him, Finn chokes up. "Avia. She..." he falters. "I - **stars** , Poe..." his hand comes up, hovers over his daughter, and pauses, looking to his boyfriend for a moment's confirmation. Then, at his go-ahead, he pulls back the blanket just enough to show the baby's dark curls. He marvels at those for a moment before leaning in and kissing them. She frowns. When he pulls back, his eyes are misty; he quickly wipes them on his sleeve.

Poe chuckles. "Are you really crying?" he teases, but only gently.

"I might be." Finn says with a sniff.

"Well, stop it. You're gonna get the baby all soggy." jokes are easier to deal with than emotions.

Finn lets out a noise halfway between a laugh and a sob. The baby is making little whimpering sounds that threaten to turn into fussing, so he hands her back. Poe rocks her and calms her down and doesn't notice that the room's gone quiet - not until he looks up and nearly gets a face full of boyfriend. Finn presses their foreheads together, as close as they can get with the baby between them. He's grinning, but even at this distance Poe can see the tears in his eyes. Big tough stormtrooper, indeed...not that Poe would have it any other way, of course. Poe shuts his eyes and grins right along with him.

Out in the corridor, BB-8 belatedly wakes up from standby mode. Nothing seems out of the ordinary at first sensor sweep, but there seem to be two voices coming from the sleeping quarters. It rolls closer to put a proverbial ear to the wall. And what it hears, repeated just louder than a whisper, is a single phrase:

"I love you, I love you, I love you."

 

★★★ 


	5. Chapter 5

"Poe, I don't think this is the best place for a baby..."

"It's fine, she's not even going to remember it. And we're just making a quick stop anyway."

Finn and Poe come out of the trees and approach Maz' tent. Finn has Avia in his arms -- she's four months now, and wiggly as anything -- and she kicks her little legs as they walk. The tent is crowded and noisy as usual, but she just babbles to herself and looks around, perfectly happy in her dad's arms.

It takes a while to even get through the door. But once they're in, they find a table and sit down to wait.

Time passes.

Finn bounces Avia in his arms, and starts to get impatient.

"Poe."

"Mm?"

"You said this was a quick stop."

"They'll be here. They're probably just running late."

More time passes. Avia starts to fuss; Finn hands her over so she can nurse. And he continues to be impatient.

"I dunno, I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Babe. Seriously. I've worked with this person before, they're perfectly reputable. They're even nice as far as Rodians go, so would you please just relax?"

Finn huffs, but doesn't argue.

They wait. And they wait some more.

Poe starts to get sheepish.

"...Okay, well. Maybe they aren't coming after all." he says, half to Finn and half to Avia. "I guess I kinda led --"

"Wait, shut up for a sec. You hear that?"

"What?"

"Shh. Listen."

Poe listens. He hears nothing but the chatter and bustle of the tent. "What am I supposed to be hearing, exactly?"

"I dunno. Almost sounds like a Wookie."

He couldn't have timed that better if he'd planned it. No sooner have the words left his mouth than a Wookie appears from the crowd (how did something that big even hide in the first place?) and wraps long, hairy arms around him. He screams. And Poe laughs, which doesn't help matters.

Finn flails his way out of the embrace and turns to face his assailant. " _You?_ What are you doing here!?" Chewbacca laughs his peculiar, snuffling laugh in response. He raises one enormous hand to wave to Poe, and Finn turns on him instead. "Wait. You knew!"

"Guilty." Poe turns on his best disarming smile and waves back to Chewbacca. "You're late, buddy."

'Rurrgh.'

"No worries. Is she here?"

"Yes, she is." says a voice from somewhere behind Chewbacca. He shuffles aside.

"Rey!" Finn rushes in for a hug. A few moments of half-heard greetings follow. Several congratulations later, they pull apart, and Rey makes a beeline for Poe. Theirs is a one-armed hug; Poe apologizes when she pulls away.

"I'd give you a real hug, but I've got an armful of kid." he explains. And that's when Rey does something rather unexpected: her smile dims, and she takes a step back as though presented with a very large spider. Avia gurgles.

"Is that...?"

"This is her." Poe smiles down at his daughter. "Avia Dameron." he takes Avia's chubby hand in his own and waves to Rey. Rey's smile comes back, but it's nervous and short-lived. She congratulates them weakly.

Chewbacca, on the other hand, is a lot more enthusiastic. He sidles up next to Rey; wookiees might not smile, but there's a sparkle in his eyes as he looks down at Avia. He extends one shaggy hand and pats Poe on the shoulder, hard.

'Grruuhrhh.'

"Thanks."

"What'd he say?" Finn is still safely on the other side of the table from Chewbacca.

"He said she's beautiful," Rey translates. She still doesn't look convinced. Chewbacca glances at her, then looks back at Poe.

'Rahhruh?'

"Sure." Poe holds the baby out to Chewbacca, who picks her up with surprising gentleness. He tucks her into the crook of his arm, pulls up a chair, and sits down with her, talking to her in quiet little snuffling noises. Avia studies his face, looking unsure but not at all scared. Eventually she turns her attention to his bandolier instead.

Meanwhile, Rey pulls up a chair of her own and sits down, next to Finn and across from Chewbacca and the baby. She looks vaguely nervous as she watches Avia, as though she expects her to jump up and attack. Finn takes notice.

"Rey? You alright?"

She shrugs. "Of course, I'm fine. I just --" she makes a face, as though searching for the right words. "She's so  _tiny_."

Poe cracks a smile. "Yeah, she's not gonna be a tall kid."

They lapse into an awkward silence. Avia tries to pull one of the metal plates off the bandolier. Slowly, Rey turns a contemplative gaze on Poe; he doesn't say anything, but raises his eyebrows in curiosity. "Why weren't you together?" she asks eventually. Poe looks bemused, but Finn seems to understand.

"When Avia was born?"

She nods once and continues, still addressing Poe. "Finn said you were on the other side of the galaxy. I thought you would want him to be there when..." she gestures vaguely. Finn and Poe look at each other across the table. Finn sighs.

"It's complicated; basically, it would have been suspicious. We both had people looking for us, and it would've attracted too much attention if we were together in the same place for too long."

"Would have liked to have someone else there, though, if I'd known," adds Poe.

"Is it that bad?" Rey looks at once horrified and intensely curious.

"Let's just say I wouldn't do it again," he says with a half-hearted smile.

They lapse into silence again. Chewbacca bounces Avia on his knee; a huddle of Jawas brushes past their table. Chewbacca rumbles a few words to Poe.

"What did he say?" Finn asks again.

"He asked where we're gonna go from here," says Poe. He leans his arms on the table. "We're looking for a place to settle down for a bit. At least until Avia's a little older. After that," he shrugs. "I dunno. General Organa pulled a lot of strings to keep me from getting kicked out of the Resistance, but I'm gonna have to fly under the radar for a while. Which, uh...which is why we wanted to talk to you, actually." he and Finn exchange another glance across the table. There's a long, crowded pause.

"We want you to be her godparent," says Finn. Chewbacca looks up from his game of peekaboo with Avia. If he had eyebrows, they'd be up to the ceiling. Rey looks less than impressed.

"Her what?"

"It's kind of like an aunt," Poe explains. Rey just frowns at that, so he takes a deep breath and tries again: "Like a third parent. Sort of. Just...someone to step in and help now and then, and teach her how to be awesome." this last part comes with a smile, which Rey returns only part of. "And you'd take care of her if something ever happened to us."

'Aargruhhruh.' Chewbacca chimes in. Rey doesn't translate, but she looks thoughtful.

After a moment she says, "I'm honored. I think. But I've never even  _held_ a baby. I don't know the first thing about how to take care of one."

"Neither do we," admits Poe.

"But I don't think I'm the best choice."

"Well there's no pressure if you don't want to, but --" Chewbacca stands up suddenly, drawing his attention. "Hey, where you goin'?"

'Arrh grrahh.' With Avia still in his arms, Chewbacca shuffles across to where Rey is sitting. He looks down at her, considering; she looks up at him. It's a long way up. 'Wruuhh,' he says.

" _Me?"_ Rey sounds alarmed at his suggestion, whatever it was. "You heard me, I don't even --" she doesn't get to finish the sentence. With a gleam in his eye, Chewbacca leans down and simply plunks Avia into Rey's lap. She instinctively movies to support the baby's weight, which seems to surprise her. "...Oh." she says softly.

"Bbbpht," says Avia.

Rey looks to Finn, then to Poe. Finn is smiling; Poe just looks watchful. She doesn't move.

"It'd mean a lot to us, Rey," Finn says gently. "You'd be a great role model for her."

"Flatterer." Rey smirks. She looks Avia up and down. Avia coos and reaches for Rey's leather bracelet.

'Grrff arrrahh,' says Chewbacca.

"I know."

'Rooouhh.'

Now Rey sighs. "That doesn't sound so bad, does it?" she says, half to Avia and half to Chewbacca. Tentatively, still not quite convinced, she hoists the baby into her arms. Avia reaches out a pudgy hand and this time, Rey takes it in her own.

"Is that a yes?" asks Poe.

"It's a maybe."

"Maybe is good enough," Finn smiles. She gives him a sidelong look and a sly smile of her own. "Welcome to the family, Rey."

 

^^^^^^^

**Author's Note:**

> This was going to be one chapter, but it would be a huge monster of a thing if I did.
> 
> \---
> 
> If you like the story so far, please leave a comment - I'd love to hear from you!


End file.
